Men Matter

I'm going to say this.

I’ve struggled with heavy bouts of anxiety.

While I manage it better now, it hasn’t disappeared. There are days it still hits me hard. Pressure builds. My head won’t shut up. Everything feels heavier than it should, even when life on paper looks “fine.”

What pisses me off is knowing how many men are living in that exact place silently. Carrying it. Burying it. Telling themselves to just push harder, don’t complain, don’t be weak, don’t let anyone down.

For me, I’m fortunate. I won’t pretend otherwise. My wife and my family are there for me. Not to fix me. Not to lecture me. Just there. Solid. Present. Supportive.

If you’ve ever had that kind of support, you know how much it matters.

A lot of men don’t; and that’s where this starts to turn into something dangerous.

Why This Matters to Me?

This matters to me because men are breaking, and we’re still pretending they’re fine.

We talk about men as providers, protectors, workers, leaders. We talk about grit. Responsibility. Endurance. What we don’t talk about is the cost of carrying all of that year after year with nowhere to put it down.

We don’t talk about the pressure.

We don’t talk about the isolation.

We don’t talk about the fear of failing the people who rely on us.

And when men finally collapse under all that weight, everyone acts surprised. What? Really?

Silent Epidemic

Men make up the majority of suicide deaths across North America. Almost 80% of all known suicides are men. That alone should stop the conversation in its tracks

These weren’t weak men. They weren’t lazy. They weren’t looking for attention. They were men who carried too much for too long and didn’t feel like there was a safe place to unload it.

I'll go a step further and suggest the majority of them didn’t want to die.

They wanted the pain to stop....The noise to stop.... The pressure to stop.

And the fact that much of society refuses to acknowledge the stark reality of this epidemic is staggeringly woeful to me.

Even I need to step it up. I should be doing more. Reaching out more. Saying the uncomfortable things louder.

Men need each other

I believe this without hesitation: men need one another.

Not for the chest-thumping macho bullshit. Not for being told to “man up.” Not for half-baked advice.

We need presence.

A guy who will sit there and listen without trying to fix it. A guy who says, “I get it,” and actually means it.

Sometimes it’s a call. Sometimes it’s a text. Sometimes it’s simply just knowing someone would notice if you went quiet.

I'm sure it saves lives. 

If you’re doing okay right now, check on someone who might not be.

If you’re struggling, hear this clearly.... needing support doesn’t make you weak. It makes you normal.

We need an Army

There are those who have seen the devastation. Who are willing to take heat for telling the truth.

One such person is my friend, Chloe. (@RomaArmy) Chloe does the work that many  people are afraid to touch.

She speaks openly about men’s rights and men’s mental health. The causes and effects. She speaks to a culture that often laughs at it, dismisses it, or tries to shut it down.

That takes backbone. The work she does matters.

I’m grateful. Genuinely grateful, that I’ve been able to support her movement, even in a small way.

Standing beside people who are willing to stand up for men when it’s unpopular matters to me.

The world needs more Chloe's.The Roma Army is growing, and I support it fully. Men need advocates. They need allies. And they need people who refuse to stay quiet.

Thank you, Chloe.

What We Can Do

I don’t have all the answers. Anyone who says they do is lying.

But I know this; change doesn’t usually come from big speeches. It comes from small, consistent actions. Things like:

• Check in on your friends.
• Talk honestly about how you’re actually doing.
• Stop treating therapy like a weakness.
• Stop confusing staying silent with strength.

We don’t need to throw masculinity away. We need to stop using it as a weapon against ourselves.

You Are Not Alone

If you’re reading this and you’re struggling — really struggling — hear this without the fluff:

You matter.

Your life matters.

And being worn down doesn’t mean you’re failing.

There is strength in staying. There is courage in speaking up. And there is nothing weak about needing help.

If this reaches even one man at the right moment, then writing it was worth it.

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#MenMatter

If you or someone you know is in crisis, reach out to local mental health services or suicide prevention resources. Help exists — because you matter.

— Vach